Your Momma Don’t Dance: Zumba Fail

Photo by Cimm

I barely got a workout as I stood in my first Zumba class stepping a little in place, baffled by what to do. Every two seconds or so we switched to a new move. My strategy of hiding in the very back of the class worked for a while until we rotated 180 degrees, and I was then looking ridiculous in the front of the class. I was utterly unable to do the moves. At one point I was supposed to be skipping, and, paralyzed in place, all I could think was “C’mon! I know how to skip.”

The instructor shouted out encouraging comments: “Here we go,” “again,” and “that’s it,” only it wasn’t it. We hit flamenco, the Charleston, African dancing, and I don’t even know what else. I think she shouted “Bollywood” at one point, but I can’t be sure.

I should have known I was in for this. I tried the Kinect Dance Central game a few months ago. I was quite hopeless at that, too, even when I set it to break down the moves and do them in slow motion. My virtual instructor on the game would say to me, “Don’t worry. It takes courage just to try.” Is it normal to get embarrassed by a cartoon drawing while alone in my basement?

P.S. This gym etiquette flowchart from Slate says, “Anyone bold enough to Zumba in public does not recognize humiliation.”

P.P.S. That’s probably true, but I checked it off my list.

#17. 101 things in 1001 days: Try Zumba

About Marcy

I blog about trying to get out of my comfort zone, completing 101 things in 1001 days (and beyond), and writing my memoirs. My book: Timid No More.
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17 Responses to Your Momma Don’t Dance: Zumba Fail

  1. Shannon @ My Place In The Race says:

    LOL! I always feel ridiculous in group classes. And, sadly, when I mess up I get tickled. Then I get even worse, get even more tickled…etc. I think I would do better if there wasn't a mirror. I look so goofy doing some of that stuff. I've never tried Zumba though. Go you for at least giving it a try!

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Hey, Marcy,
    Where in CT do you live? I’ve been going to a great place in Easton, at Jesse Lee Church. It’s extremely small and intimate. Zumba can be overwhelming at first, but try to find a smaller class. Look up Kim O’Halloren’s Zumba classes.

  4. Rahmath says:

    good for you. Are you continuing with it? I have wanted to try Zumba from the time i heard it from my freind staying in US.Unfortunately its still not there in India :(.Well someday 🙂

  5. HA! I give you credit for even trying.. there is NO WAY I would have the courage to get into a group of strangers and gyrate. Believe me, I have nothing but admiration for those who do … all I’m saying is – my hips are staying home.

    Great post!
    @sherib0bbins recently posted..What can you get me?My Profile

  6. Oh my! You’ve just reminded me why I bought the shoes, but never went back to Zumba class. I tell everyone it’s because the time doesn’t fit my schedule, or that I injured my ankle last August; but the truth is that this white girl can’t dance!

    Great story…I’d like to try Zumba again, but I think I’ll try Aqua Zumba…seriously. It’s a new thing offered at my gym. I’m thinking that if 2/3 of my body is under water, nobody will no whether I’m doing it right or not.
    Chatty Cathie recently posted..It’s the Weekend and I’m Off Getting Some Beauty Rest!My Profile

  7. I bought a belly dance video–epic fail! At least I was at home alone. I know better than to try Zumba! Funny!
    Jennifer Worrell recently posted..Piss on It: Mr. Jenn’s Guide to a Healthy RelationshipMy Profile

  8. Pish Posh says:

    Zumba is not for those with egos, self esteem problems, or identity issues.

    I ALWAYS look ridiculous.
    Pish Posh recently posted..Pour Your Heart Out: Metaphysical ConstipationMy Profile

  9. Oh my gosh! I have done Zumba, too and I completely know what you are talking about…and I am a retired professional dancer! Beto is just evil! ha
    Paula @lkg4sweetspot recently posted..Word-Up: Show Me Your WeenusMy Profile

  10. Jester Queen says:

    It’s mortifying. I did Zumba for most of last summer, and I loved it, but I only mostly caught on. (And that took about six weeks.) The frustrating part was that I felt like I was getting NO exercise while I was learning the moves. But then, one day, I had it – or enough of it. By now, I haven’t been to class in MONTHS, and I’ve lost most of it. But you’re absolutely right. I don’t know the meaning of humiliation.
    Jester Queen recently posted..SpectacleMy Profile

  11. Meredith says:

    Hysterical! And see, thanks for giving it a go, so now I can just cross it off my list sans giving it a humiliating go 🙂
    Meredith recently posted..Coupon Chief: The Monday ReviewMy Profile

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