Ditched: Scene from a memoir I haven’t written yet

Welcome! This is a new feature on my blog: “Scene from a memoir I haven’t written yet.”

Photo by Patrik Jones

Ditched

I roam the playground of West Hill School with Meg, Tracy, and another girl whose name escapes me. Meg is the center of our little group; she calls the shots, and the rest of us fall in and out of the spot as her favorite.

Over to the baseball diamond, by the swings, onto the blacktop, and to the front of the school, we walk around with no destination, joking and chatting the recess away.

Without warning, the three girls look at each other and start running away from me. I join in the game, giving chase. They keep running. Any time I catch up, they run away again.

It slowly dawns on me that the purpose of the game is to get away from me. And stay away.

I sit down on the pavement. I am hurt, confused, but above that, I feel a deep sense of dread that everyone is watching my humiliation. I am frozen there, alone.

“Hey, Marcy,” I hear. I look over to see this tall girl Pam standing with two of her friends. I know their names, but I don’t know any of them.

“Come’ere.”

What new humiliation awaits me? I stand up and walk over.

“Come play with us.” And just like that, I am in a group of girls, the humiliation lifted. Relief floods through me.

I don’t remember whether I played with Pam and her friends the next day too. What I do remember is that Meg, Tracy, and the other one never played with me again.

Three years later, I had an assigned seat next to Meg in a junior high school history class. We exchanged small talk once in a while. Mostly as I looked at her I thought, Why? Why did you do that to me? A few times I almost asked her.

Part of me regrets never finding out why. Most of me is glad I never asked. The likelihood that she wouldn’t even remember it is worse than finding out whatever reason those girls might have had.

Now I want to say to Pam: “Thanks.”

(Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

About Marcy

I blog about trying to get out of my comfort zone, completing 101 things in 1001 days (and beyond), and writing my memoirs. My book: Timid No More.
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25 Responses to Ditched: Scene from a memoir I haven’t written yet

  1. Mean girls suck, and I’ve dealt with my share over the years. I’m glad you found some new friends to play with! I always want to know whatever it was that I did wrong whenever someone decides they don’t want to be friends with me anymore, but I’ve learned to stop asking.

    I’ll be back to link up sometime later tonight or this weekend; I’d love to play along 🙂
    Kim @ This Belle Rocks recently posted..All these things that I have doneMy Profile

  2. Jennifer says:

    I’m just so glad that I’ve grown up. I think we’ve all had those moments and now we have to watch are kids going through them. Thanks for the great writing prompt opportunity and link up!
    Jennifer recently posted..Scene from a memoir I haven’t written yetMy Profile

    • Marcy says:

      I know. Things are so much easier now in so many ways, but I worry about my kids having to deal with jerks and bullies! Thanks for linking up!

  3. sammy says:

    Marcy I will definitely do this … gosh girls are just so mean. I don’t think boys are so petty … i hope not anyway!
    sammy recently posted..MIA!!My Profile

  4. Jamie says:

    We’ve all been there! For me it was mostly in junior high and high school… I had unlimited acceptance during elementary school. It wasn’t until about 6th grade when the girls started getting crizazy. And it never ended until we left high school!
    Jamie recently posted..Potty Training in 12 Special StepsMy Profile

  5. Shannon says:

    Ugh! Don’t you hate those childhood events? And what’s worse than memories of my own are when my kids come home and tell me there’s. THAT’S when my heart breaks.
    Shannon recently posted..I HEART ROVING ACRES YARNMy Profile

  6. Elizabeth says:

    ugh…children. 🙁
    Elizabeth recently posted..One of these things is not like the other.My Profile

  7. Pingback: Scene From a Memoir: The Kenny Rogers Code | My Blog

  8. Junebug says:

    Kids can be the sweetest and the cruelest creatures on earth. Although I think I would prefer to be the one people were mean to than vice versus. I wouldn’t want all the bad karma following me.

  9. Pingback: My First (and Second) Confession | (Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

  10. Thanks for visiting my blog today. Great story. You write present tense well. And I felt like I was in your memory, so you did a really good job.

  11. Katie says:

    Ugh, is it horrible that I want to punch them? Probably. A similar thing happened to me once…your story reminded me of it. I gave chase to, not understanding what was going on. Once I did understand, the devastation was very real. Girls can be such cruel friends sometimes.

    Thank you for sharing this story and for linking up with the Lightning Bugs. I thought it fit the prompt well!
    Katie recently posted..All the World’s a CageMy Profile

    • Marcy says:

      I often feel relieved that I have two boys and don’t have to relive mean girl stuff through them. I know it’s silly because boys have their own set of problems, but I still find myself thinking that way. Thanks for visiting!

  12. Ugh, we’ve all been there.
    And I totally agree, that it is s scarier to hear that that decision was made on a whimsy rather than with real weight behind it. Kids can be so cruel.
    But I like the scene, the idea, the clarity and the point of it all.
    One FYI: There’s a typo in… “I few times I almost asked her.” 🙂
    Good job, came from the TL&LB linky.
    Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..RevivedMy Profile

  13. Patty says:

    Nothing, absolutely nothing, gets my blood boiling more than stories about mean girls…mean kids, in general.

    I went through it with my own children and now watch the same garbage continue with my grandkids. Those demonic little creatures who spit out their cruelty sicken me to no end. The worst part are the parents who pass off these reprehensible behaviors using the “kids will be kids” excuse and take no responsibility for the ignorance of their spawn.

    I will never believe that any child is born with a vindictive soul, it’s a learned behavior and one that usually starts in the home.
    Patty recently posted..He walked…My Profile

    • Marcy says:

      Oh, I haven’t even considered the agony of going through it again with grandchildren! I agree that the “kids will be kids” reply is terrible. One good thing is that, for the most part, schools take bullying a lot more seriously now than they used to (not that what I described was bullying.)

  14. I was always getting in trouble with the bullies. The mean kids. The verbal abuse was horrible. Pam? She sounds freaking awesome. Very few kids will stand up to the mean ones, even just by being kind to the victim. It’s good to say thanks :).
    Jessie Powell recently posted..Sam’s WorldMy Profile

  15. May says:

    I like that you told this in such a matter-of-fact manner. There is no need for embellishment for the reader to feel how painful this would be. It is horrid on its own and universal. The thought of the little girl not understanding and giving chase made my heart ache.

  16. Kids can be so fickle, and so nasty sometimes. I remember something similar happening to me when I was a kid, only it was older girls who fussed over me (because I was much younger) one day, but then treated me like a nuisance the next. For a long time I wondered what I did wrong, to make them dislike me, but looking back now I see that the novelty just wore off. A much younger kid isn’t all that interesting for too long!
    Mum of Adult Kids recently posted..It’s a small world, after allMy Profile

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