If You Give a Mom a Blog

(For Mama Kat’s writing prompt, “If you give a mom a _____”… a post written in the style of the children’s If You Give a Mouse a Cookie books.)

If you give a mom a blog,
she’s going to want to put your picture on the Internet.

 

Then she’ll probably get you to drink a smoothie made of spinach,

and she’ll convince you to eat guacamole ice cream, too.

She’ll want to check her stats while you’re doing your homework,
and she’ll have you pose over and over again for a faceless portrait.

Your mom will take a picture of your quesadilla casserole before you can eat it,

and she won’t serve you meat on Mondays.

She’ll have an epic fail playing World of Warcraft,
and then pester you for jargon so she can write a blog post about it.

Your mom will want you to videotape her trying to juggle,
and she’ll tell you about friends she’s never met on the other side of the world.

She’ll talk you into watching an old movie with her ’cause it’s on a list,
and she will write a haiku about your cross country meet.

Your mom will ask you to shake cream until it turns into butter,
and she’ll buy a picture of a Peanut Zombie.

She will eventually be able to do more push-ups than you can do,
and she’ll tell you not to be too timid and squeamish.

–Dedicated to David and Daniel, two good sports (usually)

Mama Kat | Yeah Write 45Finding the Funny

About Marcy

I blog about trying to get out of my comfort zone, completing 101 things in 1001 days, and writing my memoirs. I am a teacher and writer living in Connecticut.
This entry was posted in Et Cetera and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to If You Give a Mom a Blog

  1. Very nicely done! I chose not to do this one… I could have come up with some things that would embarrass my kids, my hubby, oh yeah, and may not be safe for peoples!
    TortugaRachel recently posted..Even big guys make cute picturesMy Profile

  2. Sammy says:

    I found myself nodding and smiling throughout this post – so true!

  3. Victoria KP says:

    Great post! I often find myself thinking, “Where’s the camera? this would be great on my blog!”
    Victoria KP recently posted..RemembeRED: Caro Mio BenMy Profile

  4. Cindy Brown says:

    Very nicely done – reminds me of the books I used to read to my daughter. Except your version made sense to me ;0)

  5. dumb mom says:

    Yes! It’s starting to show in my 10yr old as I hear constantly, “Is this for The Blog?!” Like if it is he’s not going to do it. Even though he totally is, because I say!
    dumb mom recently posted..Writer’s Workshop. This Was Us Then.My Profile

  6. Deb says:

    So accurate!! :) Now that my kids are old enough to read what I blog, I have to ask permission sometimes.
    Deb recently posted..Ten Years AgoMy Profile

  7. Jenners says:

    Love it .. and my family can relate to having their lives turned into blog fodder. : )

    Visiting from Mama Kats.
    Jenners recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: If You Give A Mom A ….My Profile

  8. Michelle says:

    My kids can identify! The pictures, the queries (am I using this word right?), the stories of our life…..I love it all, and they don’t mind. Too much.
    Michelle recently posted..I Cho-Cho-Choose YouMy Profile

    • Marcy says:

      Yes, I always took a ton of pictures before I blogged too, so it’s usually not too bad of a change. I didn’t use to take pictures of our dinners, though. :)

  9. That was so awesome!! It made me laugh, and was so spot on! We blogging moms sure are crazy, aren’t we??

    Thanks for sharing this with us at Rub Some Dirt On It!
    Becky @ Rub Some Dirt On It recently posted..Happiness Is…{naked newborns}My Profile

  10. What an awesome post! I’m relatively new to this mum blogging caper but I am slowly finding myself doing the exact things you so eloquently described! I loved it!!

  11. Allison says:

    This was hilarious! I’ve had a blog for a while, but only recently began posting. I’m sure to run into similar situations. Haha!

  12. Very funny, mostly because it’s true! I especially like the bit about WOW, as I find myself peppering my kids with questions about stuff too. I call it research! And one day when I told my son how many page views I’ve had, he just about fell over. And it’s not even that many, yet.

    Nicely done.
    Mum of Adult Kids recently posted..Where would I find my Vitamin Me?My Profile

  13. Kathy says:

    That’s hilarious. I especially like your son’s face in the pic where they’re eating the guacamole ice cream :-)

  14. This post really made me smile – and I think it will make my son smile as well! I have to say it definitely brought back some memories – although I haven’t tried the spinach smoothie or avocado ice cream yet…

    Thank you so much for sharing this post with us at the Gallery of Favorites.
    April @ The 21st Century Housewife recently posted..The Gallery of Favorites
    with The 21st Century Housewife 10 February
    My Profile

  15. Marcy says:

    Thanks for the kind comments! I definitely see a theme developing here of blogging moms who identify with this. This generation of kids will have very well-documented lives, that’s for sure.
    Marcy recently posted..Levon Helm’s Midnight RambleMy Profile

  16. Alea Milham says:

    This is so funny and so true! I will be sharing this with my long-suffering family at dinner tonight. Thanks for sharing this with the Gallery.
    Alea Milham recently posted..Gallery of Favorites 2/10My Profile

  17. Hahahaha! I love this post!! :D
    Shannon ~ My Place In The Race recently posted..Dreadmill PRMy Profile

  18. You started my day off with a smile. Thanks! Great post.
    Beth @ Aunt B’s Kitchen recently posted..The Gift of a LetterMy Profile

  19. RumpyDog! says:

    Hey, just tread carefully! Her next book might be, “If you give a kid some kale!!”
    RumpyDog! recently posted..Rumpy’s Rap!My Profile

  20. That was a great post, it made me smile. My grand children ask when they eat, when they get hurt or basically when they tell me anything..is this going on your blog? Your boys are adorable and really good sports. Have a great weekend!
    doreen mcgettigan recently posted..FRIDAY FRAGMENTS; THE CRAZED FANS and a WRITERS PLATFORM BUILDING CAMPAIGN…My Profile

  21. Aimee says:

    “and she won’t serve you meat on Mondays.” <—best line!! Hahahaha!
    Aimee recently posted..P52: Week 6 ~ Drink Up!My Profile

  22. Charity says:

    I LOVE this post. I would substitute shake cream until it becomes ice cream and I haven’t tried the haiku, but otherwise, ABSOLUTELY!!!

    Visiting from The Blog Entourage Crazed Fans Weekend Hop.
    Charity recently posted..An Idea–Mother’s Pride CarnivalMy Profile

  23. Lisat says:

    Hi Marcy, I like your attitude! What a cute post. I found you on “She Writes” blogging group which I just joined today. Looking forward to hearing more about your adventures! Lisa
    Lisat recently posted..I HEART Me DayMy Profile

  24. Tricia says:

    Hillarious! And so true.

  25. —Fabulous!

    I loved this post. Xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted..I’m Not Your Conventional Christian GirlMy Profile

  26. Megan says:

    I love this! The “If you give a….” books are some of our favorites! Very creative. Found you through Write on Edge’s weekend linkup. I will be returning to check out some of your other posts :)

  27. Found you in the Hop! New Facebook follower!

    Hope you follow back and check out my current giveaways!

    http://giveawayhog.blogspot.com/

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/GiveawayHog/189406794499792
    Allison Downes recently posted..Some of my favorite Walgreens Deal Matchups for 2-12-12My Profile

  28. Is this the downside or upside of blogging or does it depend on your perspective?! ;)
    idiosyncratic eye recently posted..Ups and DownsMy Profile

  29. Jennifer says:

    Thanks for being my first linker Marcy! Love this post. I think you’ve totally captured what it is to be a blogging mom and a blogging family. Too cute!
    Jennifer recently posted..Saturday’s for Smiling Linky Party!My Profile

  30. danika says:

    Wandered over here from Write On Edge. Never know what you’ll get. :-) Thought this was precious. And true. I’m not a mom, but I know blog moms. And I often wonder what their kids think when moms post about them. (and I’m thankful blogs were not invented yet when I was growing up)
    danika recently posted..Weekend Workout: Cameo Characters and the Hidden SceneMy Profile

  31. Pingback: Gallery of Favorites 2/17 | Premeditated Leftovers

  32. Jennifer says:

    This is so great! I love the haiku, especially. And the look on your son’s face when faced with the spinach smoothie is excellent. Well done :)
    Jennifer recently posted..These Small MomentsMy Profile

  33. I loved this! So creative. I’m always up for a good haiku, but then, who isn’t? Made my kids feel better, too, about the stuff I have them do for the sake of the blog.
    And I can’t believe I got the bonus of the quesadilla casserole! Score. Ellen

  34. Katie says:

    HA! Love it. And so, so, so very true about the blogger family and children being good sports. I know my hubby is :)
    Katie recently posted..My Dearest Ms. AustenMy Profile

  35. Jamie says:

    I’m always so intrigued by the 101 in 1001 days thing. And terrified of it too.
    Jamie recently posted..your memories with my memories {a giveaway!}My Profile

  36. January says:

    So many funny lines here but I especially enjoyed the look on your son’s face as you made him drink a spinach smoothie. Even *I* wouldn’t drink that! You really do have 2 great kids – if for only the gross task of eating your guacamole ice cream!

  37. David Wiley says:

    I absolutely loved this blog post and was looking forward to reading it even before I clicked the link. I always enjoyed those kids books, and this was such a great idea to turn it into a writing prompt. It is amazing and inspiring what kinds of genius creations can come from such a simple thing!

  38. Love this! It’s so true. If you give a mom a blog, everything’s subject to the post-worthy test. Our poor kids.
    Laura@Catharsis recently posted..All deaths are tragic. Key word? ALL.My Profile

  39. Jackie says:

    I don’t think I’ll be able to read the “If you give a mouse a …” the same!
    Awesome!
    Jackie recently posted..PrioritiesMy Profile

  40. Haha, so true! Your son’s expression at the thought of downing that smoothie is just priceless.

  41. Sara says:

    Love love love it! I’ve got to try this exercise myself.
    Sara recently posted..Just Move On AlreadyMy Profile

  42. Leighann says:

    That was awesome!!
    It told me everything about your blog in one post. Great job.

  43. I really liked that. It reminds me of my mom. I set her up with a blog and I’ve been teaching her how to manage her blog for a while now. Yep! You are pretty much spot on!
    Writing, Reading, and Eating! recently posted..Big changes and Goal SettingMy Profile

  44. Margie says:

    We’ve read every one of these books a million times lately – love the new spin! I will make the next million times a bit more bearable!
    Margie recently posted..The Making of a Redneck MidgetMy Profile

  45. Love it! Our sons tolerate my blog. But I think they try to not think about it!

  46. Made me laugh…everyone’s tired at the end of the Mouse’s version, too, though not nearly as fit or healthy. ;-)
    Naptimewriting recently posted..SlapdashMy Profile

  47. Very nicely done! I related to most of it. Still keeping my guacamole and ice cream separate!
    Beth Zimmerman recently posted..Grief and GuiltMy Profile

  48. Anna says:

    LOVE IT!!! Guacamole ice cream? Really?

    Thanks for linking up to #finding the funny!
    Anna recently posted..Finding the Funny #16My Profile

  49. Love it! Very clever, and funny. (came from FtheF!)

  50. We LOVE Bloggy Mom humor and this is one of the best send-ups yet!! Awesome. Erin
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted..Out of the French Fry Stuffed Mouths of BabesMy Profile

  51. Patricia P says:

    Oh I love those books and this post! I just found you on Finding the Funny, and I can’t wait to read more!
    Patricia P recently posted..The Kind of Mom I AmMy Profile

  52. So very funny and true!!
    Journeying Sue recently posted..College in High SchoolMy Profile

  53. MultipleMum says:

    You are a nut, you know that right? I love that you sfind do much fun in your life. Great headline too! Thanks for Rewinding x

  54. M says:

    This sounds like a whole lot of fun. Your sons are great.
    M recently posted..Musings on PassionMy Profile

  55. Cecilia says:

    Great, fun post, Marcy! Thank you for sharing your link with me earlier and thanks for stopping by my post on Blogher. Funny, my post was originally written as part of Mama Kat’s writing workshop as well :-) Will check out your blog some more when I get a chance!

  56. That was cute. I love guacamole but they were very good sports for trying guacamole ice cream! I had a LOL for the “pose over and over” – guilty!
    TALU!

  57. Oh this is fantastic! hahaha
    thank you SO much for sharing it on talu.

  58. Becca says:

    I love this! Hilarious…

    Becca ;) (TALU)

  59. How funny!! I’m not a mommy, but sadly, I can relate to many of those situations! ;)
    kelseyhomolka-keepingupwithkelsey.blogspot.com

  60. I don’t have kids of my own, but I had to laugh reading this while picturing my nephews’ eyes rolling as they serve as guinea pigs testing my latest crazy kitchen creation. They’re great sports, and one is good at giving great critique, but the other is a picky eater, so it can be pretty funny sometimes seeing him try something new for me. :)

  61. findingninee says:

    I love this post! I just found your blog today via TALU and I can’t wait to read more! The posing over and over again for a faceless portrait cracked me up. Love it!

  62. Sooo hilarious! Those pictures were priceless! What a great post to link up to TALU! So glad I saw it!

  63. Pingback: Year in Review: 2012 | (Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

  64. Pingback: Less Timid, Less Squeamish: My Second Blogoversary | (Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

  65. ha! OMG that was hilarious!! I love your haiku and I love that you also have friends on the other side of the world you have never met! Blogging is SO fun! Thanks for sending me this link, I am definitely posting it on the “If you give a mom a muffin” post!

  66. Pingback: Pura Vida: Traveling Alone to Costa Rica | (Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge