How to Respect Your Kid’s Intelligence and Ruin Easter All at the Same Time
Very early one Easter morning, my older son crawled into my warm bed with my husband and me. He was about four years old at the time.
“Mom,” he said, waking me. “I found my Easter egg basket and Dan’s too.”
I snapped awake and started to say “Happy Easter,” but he stopped me with quite a serious expression.
Out tumbled a gush of words: “You know what I think? I think the Easter Bunny didn’t come at all, and I think you went to the store and bought all our favorite candy and that green stuff for grass, and you hid all the wrappers, and you figured out where you could hide our baskets, and you hid mine in one place, and you found an easy place to hide Dan’s ‘cause he’s little, and then you went to bed, and I woke up and found them.”
The time had come, several years earlier than I would have guessed. I had always felt conflicted about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and all the other lies many of us tell our children. I decided that I would tell my kids the truth when they asked.
So I looked straight into my smart, earnest, rational son’s eyes and nodded. “Yes.”
My smart, earnest, rational son’s reaction?
He burst out crying, shouting, “You’ve been lying to me for years!”
Awkward descriptions of tradition and the magic of childhood did little to cheer him up.
When his sobs subsided, he asked, “So if you’re the Easter Bunny, does that mean that Daddy is Santa Claus?”
My resolve to respect his rationality and meet frank questions with the truth had weakened significantly.
“Let’s save Santa Claus for another talk.”
I hugged him and told him not to tell his little brother. The conspiracy continued.
—
[At least I wasn’t like any of these parents: Misbehaving Parents Ruin Easter Egg Hunt]
This is part of a series, Scene from a Memoir.
And I laughed at the "American Fried Rice." } – 
That’s funny! But I bet it wasn’t at the time, though. That’s how a lot of my posts are too. Thank goodness I can laugh about things later. I got caught as the Tooth Fairy by my waiting child when she burst out from under the covers with a flashlight aimed right at the eyes. I was caught. And blinded. What could I do, but fess up? I was almost sad the charade had ended, but at the same time relieved.
Cindy Brown recently posted..The Power of Suggestion… by My Weak Mind
Oh no, Cindy. I can’t believe she was waiting with a flashlight! Busted.
Awww.!!!!
But I respect him so much. He was only 4 at that time and he figured it out!!!
Is he still the same? Does he surprise you still with his questions or observations ???
Yeah, he’s pretty sharp.
I remember feeling completely betrayed when I found out about Santa Claus, which is why my girls have always known that it’s the parents who do Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. They’ve never let on to any other kids, though — they understand not to interfere in the rituals of other families.
Over the years, the girls have had fun filling each other’s stockings on Christmas Eve, trying to stay awake after they’ve lost a tooth (they like to try to catch me), and participating in egg hunts and the like. I don’t think they’ve missed out on anything.
This is the kind of quandry every family has to figure out for themselves, of course. I’ve known kids who weren’t upset at all when they found out the truth about Santa, etc.
Patricia Ellis Herr recently posted..Thursday Things…
I remember an older neighbor telling me about Santa Claus. I wasn’t upset, but my mother really was. Your traditions sound great!
Oh no — I imagine your mother must have been very mad indeed! That’s why I’ve always made it clear to both my girls that they are NOT, under any circumstances, allowed to spill the beans. I don’t want angry moms showing up on my doorstep!
Patricia Ellis Herr recently posted..The Friday Wrap: Wow, What a Week!
I was shopping at Stop & Shop yesterday, and they made an announcement saying, “Having trouble thinking of what to put in your child’s Easter basket? Try yogurt covered raisins….” My kids would have figured it out just from that.
Marcy recently posted..How to Respect Your Kid’s Intelligence and Ruin Easter All at the Same Time
Oh no! They were not thinking at Shop & Save that there could be children with ears in the store! Fail!
Cindy Brown recently posted..The Power of Suggestion… by My Weak Mind
I think I squirmed out of that one with “Well, what do YOU think?” when my son was beginning to have questions. That way, he let me know when HE was ready to know The Truth. (Which was another couple of years. In some ways, I think I got played.)
I read a study somewhere that it does NOT permanently scar children or lead to a sense of mistrust by letting them believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc., until THEY are ready to let it go. You handled it well, IMO.
Beverly Diehl recently posted..A-Z: Google Earth to Bev – Get Exploring!
Ha ha, I think my younger one “believed” for much longer than he really did. If candy is involved, he’ll figure out an angle.
I don’t think my parents ever encouraged myths about Santa and the Easter Bunny… they did do the tooth fairy, but we are a fairy sarcastic family so I’m pretyt sure when I was about seven, the conversation went something like “You lost a tooth! Hide it under your pillow for the tooth fairy!” … “Oh yeah, but Dad better give me more than a nickel this time!”
Sounds like your son will make it through, though.
Happy Easter!
Amber recently posted..Did You Learn You’re Grammar? Oops. *Your.
That’s funny. Happy Easter!
Oh dear! I think you were wise to leave the issue of Santa till later! I enjoyed reading your post as I had a very similar, but different, experience with my son when it came to Santa (Father Christmas over here). He kept asking awkward questions, prompted by a very undiplomatic advertisement he heard on the radio which really gave the game away. As he was almost 11, I asked him if he ‘really wanted to know’. He assured me he did – and so I very gently explained the truth. He was so upset with me for my honesty, and said insisted he would rather I had lied! Now he is 19, we smile about it, but he was upset with me for ages!
April @ The 21st Century Housewife recently posted..Easiest Ever Shrimp Primavera
Yes, I was glad I waited on Santa. By the time Christmas came that year, he said he was “ready” to know, and he had known before I told him. Thanks for sharing your story.
I love this post. We’ve still got one little “believer”, so I had to watch what I wrote! Such a heart wrenching topic!
I teach 7th grade, and I have occasionally had a student who still believes. I have to be careful what I say. Thanks for linking up!
Marcy recently posted..How to Respect Your Kid’s Intelligence and Ruin Easter All at the Same Time
My sister was so devastated by the Santa thing that she could never bring herself to be anything but upfront about all the holiday friends. But I kind of enjoyed the thought of a mysterious bunny leaving those baskets.
May recently posted..Mending
I find it so interesting how there are so many different interpretations of what parents should do. I have been sad to leave some of the traditions for small children behind as mine have grown.
Marcy recently posted..How to Respect Your Kid’s Intelligence and Ruin Easter All at the Same Time
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Aww, poor little guy. Sometimes, we really don’t want to know the truth.
I just linked up my story of my daughter figuring out the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
Alea Milham recently posted..Chunky Pizza Sauce
Yes, my impression was that he knew in his intellect, but that he wasn’t ready to know in his emotions. Thanks for linking up!
Marcy recently posted..How to Respect Your Kid’s Intelligence and Ruin Easter All at the Same Time
Poor guy, I was trying to explain the process of losing a tooth to my kids the other day and they were completely horrified. They kept pushing in their teeth all day afterwards. Apparently my explanation was too graphic. Oops.
That was a true parenting moment. I think different children are more skeptical from the get go. Others just play along for the fun and presents. And others still really believe. Our oldest sounds like your son. By age three he wasn’t buying it.
Jamie@SouthMainMuse recently posted..Then Everything Changed.
I won’t be approaching this for awhile, and when it comes time, I’m sure I will royally screw it up!
Aha! Smart kid!
It’s precisely this reason that we never went a long with any of these stories – what happens when they find out the truth?! We used to get the kids Easter hotwheels – from wal mart, not a bunny. Lose a tooth? Turn it into me for a dollar (as reward for us not having to pay the dentist to do it). Santa? He’s just a cute story for Christmas. Oh, and don’t tell the little friends any of this!
That does seem best in retrospect. Did they ever feel like they were missing out?
AWWWEEE This makes me sad!! But it’s also pretty crazy how your son came up with this! How did the Santa Claus talk go? Love this! Stopping by from TALU!
The Santa talk went fine. He was ready. Thanks!
When my son was young, he found out that Santa did not bring gifts. All of my assurances that Santa was the spirit of Christmas did not make a believer out of him. BUT he was shocked when I mentioned the name of the store where I bought the Easter candy. “You mean the Easter bunny isn’t real?” I was not following the logic that could be sure that the man didn’t come down the chimney but that a giant rabbit would come by with candy. Yet another mommy flub… TALU
That’s so funny. Who knows what their thought processes are?