UPDATE here: Well, did you ever milk a cow?
#1 (101 things in 1001 days): Milk a cow.
It’s taken two years of looking for a willing cow, but I’ve finally found an udder to pull on. Well, several udders, presumably. I’m conditioned to seeing cows in wide open spaces, so who knew they could be so elusive?
I had called several dairy farms, but was not able to find one that would let me milk a cow. It seems there are some pesky health regulations that prevent people from wandering in off the street and pulling on the mammary glands of a bovine. I had to, though, because it was on my list.
On the verge of having a cow, I was udderly desperate. I even tried a goat farm, thinking I would have to sub in a smaller lactating mammal.
The goat farm owner responded with enthusiasm to my email. I had told him that I had until December to complete the milking because it was on my bucket list. He asked for more information about it and said he could help me out. So far so good. The problem happened when I explained that my 101 things in 1001 days list expired in December.
The best I could figure, he had misunderstood my “bucket list” request to mean that I would be kicking the bucket by this December, and my dying wish was to milk a goat. Once he found out that I wasn’t buying the farm, I never heard from him again.
So I was thrilled to find a farm that offers workshops on keeping a family cow and lets people try their hands at milking one. Stay tuned.
And then there were ten
Only ten items remain on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. With about three months to go, I am poised to complete them all in time, but I noticed a trend when I looked over my list of remaining items. See if you can pick up on it.
1. Milk a cow. (Scheduled)
11. Learn to juggle three balls. (Inept)
31. Record a song with me playing a bodhran with my family. (Inept)
44. Relearn how to play “Greensleeves” on the guitar. (Inept)
46. De-clutter my house. (Okay, okay, I will)
50. Take a yoga class again. (Okay)
53. Eat meatless at least one day a week on average. (In progress)
55. Play, give away, or throw out each of the 32 board games in my basement. (In progress)
73. Knit something. (Inept)
75. Read at least 15 classics I’ve never read. (Almost done)
Yes, for 40% of my remaining tasks, I have avoided them for over two years because I am a klutz who lacks rhythm. Just so you don’t think I’ve avoided everything I’m terrible at, I did tackle these items, even though I stunk:
- Video game (“A Noob Gets Pwned: Giving World of Warcraft a Try at My Children’s Insistence”)
- Dance game (“I Bust a Move on Dance Central a/k/a/ Cartoons Pity Me in My Basement”)
- Art class (“Nude Poses, the Beats, and William Shatner Playing Rocket Man”)
- Zumba (“Your Momma Don’t Dance: Zumba Fail”)
- Karaoke (“I’ve Got One More Silver Dollar: Karaoke)