Scheduling a Cow

UPDATE here (I did it!): Well, did you ever milk a cow?

#1 (101 things in 1001 days): Milk a cow.


A Swiss cow and I in 1987. I was apparently playing in a soccer match later in the day, but my memory is fuzzy on that point.

It’s taken two years of looking for a willing cow, but I’ve finally found an udder to pull on. Well, several udders, presumably. I’m conditioned to seeing cows in wide open spaces, so who knew they could be so elusive?

I had called several dairy farms, but was not able to find one that would let me milk a cow. It seems there are some pesky health regulations that prevent people from wandering in off the street and pulling on the mammary glands of a bovine. I had to, though, because it was on my list.

On the verge of having a cow, I was udderly desperate. I even tried a goat farm, thinking I would have to sub in a smaller lactating mammal.

The goat farm owner responded with enthusiasm to my email. I had told him that I had until December to complete the milking because it was on my bucket list. He asked for more information about it and said he could help me out. So far so good. The problem happened when I explained that my 101 things in 1001 days list expired in December.

The best I could figure, he had misunderstood my “bucket list” request to mean that I would be kicking the bucket by this December, and my dying wish was to milk a goat. Once he found out that I wasn’t buying the farm, I never heard from him again.

So I was thrilled to find a farm that offers workshops on keeping a family cow and lets people try their hands at milking one. Stay tuned.

And then there were ten

Only ten items remain on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. With about three months to go, I am poised to complete them all in time, but I noticed a trend when I looked over my list of remaining items. See if you can pick up on it.

1. Milk a cow. (Scheduled)
11. Learn to juggle three balls. (Inept)
31. Record a song with me playing a bodhran with my family. (Inept)
44. Relearn how to play “Greensleeves” on the guitar. (Inept)
46. De-clutter my house. (Okay, okay, I will)
50. Take a yoga class again. (Okay)
53. Eat meatless at least one day a week on average. (In progress)
55. Play, give away, or throw out each of the 32 board games in my basement. (In progress)
73. Knit something. (Inept)
75. Read at least 15 classics I’ve never read. (Almost done)

Yes, for 40% of my remaining tasks, I have avoided them for over two years because I am a klutz who lacks rhythm. Just so you don’t think I’ve avoided everything I’m terrible at, I did tackle these items, even though I stunk:

  • Video game (“A Noob Gets Pwned: Giving World of Warcraft a Try at My Children’s Insistence”)
  • Dance game (“I Bust a Move on Dance Central a/k/a/ Cartoons Pity Me in My Basement”)
  • Art class (“Nude Poses, the Beats, and William Shatner Playing Rocket Man”)
  • Zumba (“Your Momma Don’t Dance: Zumba Fail”)
  • Karaoke (“I’ve Got One More Silver Dollar: Karaoke)

101 things in 1001 days 101 things in 1001 days

About Marcy

I blog about trying to get out of my comfort zone, completing 101 things in 1001 days (and beyond), and writing my memoirs. My book: Timid No More.

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9 Responses to Scheduling a Cow

  1. Shana Norris says:

    I push the things I don’t feel confident about to the very bottom of any given list, too. Good luck finishing your 101 things!

    Shana Norris recently posted..Weekend LinksMy Profile

  2. First off, what you have accomplished is pretty darn impressive! However, some of these you’ve saved till last sound challenging, like the musical ones and the knitting. I’m totally rooting for you, though!!
    Natalie – The Cat Lady Sings recently posted..Drafted Into A ProjectMy Profile

    • Marcy says:

      Thanks, Natalie. I have to enlist my family members to play an Irish song with me, and two of them haven’t played their instruments in a very long time, so that one will be rough even without my ineptitude.

  3. Amber says:

    I honestly thinking milking a cow seems like a good time!
    And I love the retro pic of you and the cow! Real cute!
    Amber recently posted..How White People make TortillasMy Profile

  4. Karen says:

    Marcy, can I just say that I love that you are partaking in all of these self-challenges? I cannot wait to hear the actual milking story, and I’m hoping that you will provide pictures.

    Two more things:

    1. Your opening sentence is great.
    2. Someone thought your dying wish was to milk a goat. That would be like the 4-H version of The Make A Wish Foundation.

    P.S. I would rather milk ten cows and a goat rather than do yoga. Have fun!
    Karen recently posted..Harvesting a Bumper Crop of Eighties MemoriesMy Profile

  5. Abby says:

    A farm that offers workshops on keeping a family cow – whatta great idea! Like a dude ranch, only milk instead of steak. Who knew?!

    Hmm, soccer. I was wondering if maybe you worked as a candy striper. Nicely done on your incredibly shrinking list. Did you have “write a blog post with fun, witty puns” on it too?
    Abby recently posted..Silver Liningness SundayMy Profile

  6. TriGirl says:

    I love that you’re trying all those things! (I don’t even know what some of them are…bodhran?) But how would you know you’re inept or not if you don’t give it a whirl? Good luck with the cow! Who knew getting a cow to milk would be so difficult?
    TriGirl recently posted..Chocolate and Chilliness: My Dilettante Women’s Triathlon RecapMy Profile

    • Marcy says:

      A bodhran is an Irish drum. I brought one back from Ireland and always wanted to play it. I have trouble keeping a beat. It’s pretty clear that I’m inept at these things from my first attempts–juggling especially. I friend swears anyone can do it with practice, so we’ll see. Thanks, TriGirl.

  7. Pingback: Well, did you ever milk a cow? | (Don't Be) Too Timid and Squeamish

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